I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
