He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
