My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
