I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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