i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
