We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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