I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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