Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
