so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
ttyl tear gas
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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