would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
