Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
