They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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