So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
