you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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