Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
