PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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