does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We need to rekindle our bromance
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
