Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
