his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
