You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sext me about skeletons
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
