I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
