Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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