Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
