No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
