Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
