I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
