i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
