Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
