yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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