Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
