I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
