wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
