I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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