Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
