And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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