and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
it's like heaven, but drunker
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
