Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
