I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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