it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
