talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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