That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
