we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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