WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
