When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
