I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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