oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
