I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
