I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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