I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
