My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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